Confessions a 20th century ne'er do well: Drinking, fighting, stealing and other things one generally ought not do

Friday, July 18, 2008

The first thing I ever stole - chocolate pudding

I volunteered at a soup kitchen when I was 16 years old, and that was where I stole my first thing. It was a huge can of chocolate pudding. God, I love chocolate pudding.

I really stole it because it was funny – in fact, that’s the only reason I steal anything. An adult authority figure found out and made me return it. At the time, I argued that it was chocolate pudding, and there was nothing nutritious about it, so what was I really taking from them?

Today I’d argue that I was allowed to eat as much chocolate pudding as I wanted while on site – even if that meant a whole can - and that they throw the can away after they open it. So what’s the hangup with time and space? The results are the same.

In retrospect, I shouldn’t have stolen the can of chocolate pudding from a soup kitchen. There really isn’t much room for elaboration on that sentiment, either.

9 Comments:

Blogger Sarah said...

That's hilarious! I also volunteered at a soup kitchen when I was in high school but there was no chocolate pudding involved -- just really nasty over cooked meat and pre packaged pies.

I'm a vanilla pudding person myself.

4:38 AM, July 18, 2008

 
Blogger NJWT said...

I agree - if I could do it over again, I'd steal vanilla pudding.

6:10 PM, July 18, 2008

 
Blogger AddledWriter said...

Stealing from a soup kitchen means you are going to hell.

8:48 PM, July 20, 2008

 
Blogger Alicia said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3:33 AM, July 21, 2008

 
Blogger NJWT said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

7:02 AM, July 21, 2008

 
Blogger NJWT said...

Stealing from anywhere means you're going to hell.

11:00 AM, July 21, 2008

 
Anonymous Friar Yid said...

You Baptist are all alike! Full of Hellfire and brimstone. People who preach nothing but hellfire and brimstone must do so because they have never experienced the grace and love of Adonai.
I remember stealing apples from Dr. Hurt's trees when I was a paperboy. They did taste better than the ones that mother gives you.

11:50 PM, July 24, 2008

 
Blogger T.A.B. said...

I would respond, but I don't talk to pudding thieves.

8:04 AM, July 28, 2008

 
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12:42 PM, February 09, 2010

 

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